Tainted Love

Lola writes:

I went out on several dates with a tall, cute, successful 29 year old. He seemed really nice, down to earth, and I could even watch stupid cartoons with him. After several dates and some make outs, I thought I was ready to pursue. He had told me he wanted to start dating, but I am still wanting to take things slow.

Going to a dance party one night with a girlfriend and my male roommate, I see said boy at the bar and send him a wave. I danced with several of my friends and left with a girlfriend and my roommate, no big deal.

I wake up the next morning to find some drunk angry text messages, he had deleted me from his FB, the works. The next few weeks were random text messages and him finally telling me he had over reacted and thought I was leaving with one of the guys I danced with (clearly he was drunk that night).

I sort of felt uncomfortable with him after that, my last boyfriend was really dramatic and I don’t want anything like that ever again. So I moved on and met and started hanging out with another boy. Tiny, adorable, half Thai (if you know me you know how I feel about Asians). He seems really into me and trust it is mutual.

Two nights ago, I found out he is tall boy’s best friend. How did this happen? Now tiny boy wants to put things on hold, which I can understand. What should I do? Step away and respect guy code? I am sad by this. I didn’t know, tiny boy didn’t know, and tall boy is the one who went crazy and I realized he was not for me. When can we start being adults and throw guy code out the window to explore what we want?

My group of friends is a slew of exes and currents and pasts becoming other peoples presents, I suppose I’m being selfish. I do that when it comes to Asians.

Thanks for the post, Lola!

I think if you barely dated Tall Boy, then Tiny Boy should be in the clear to pursue you. However, maybe Tall Boy is being possessive because he was into you and you held back, then he reacted strongly when he thought you left a bar (in front of him) with another guy. While it’s never a good idea to make drunken decisions about angry texts and unfriending, he had to feel something for you to react in that way.

Maybe it’s time to have a talk with Tall Boy? If he’s Tiny Boy’s best friend, he’s not just going to disappear.

Xo, Zoe